Elisabeth Elliot, a renowned Christian author, missionary, and speaker, left behind a legacy of profound wisdom, particularly regarding faith, love, and suffering. One of her most frequently cited quotes, often shortened to variations like "Love is not a feeling," sparks much discussion and interpretation. Let's delve deeper into this quote and explore its multifaceted meaning within the context of Elliot's life and teachings.
While the exact phrasing varies, the core message remains consistent: love isn't merely an emotion; it's a choice, a commitment, and an action. It transcends fleeting feelings of happiness, infatuation, or even comfort. This perspective is profoundly relevant in understanding both romantic love and the broader, unconditional love advocated by Elliot.
What did Elisabeth Elliot mean by "Love is not a feeling"?
This statement challenges the common perception of love as primarily an emotional experience. We often equate love with butterflies in the stomach, intense passion, or a feeling of overwhelming happiness. While these emotions can certainly accompany love, Elliot emphasizes that they are not its defining characteristic. True love, as she understood it, persists even when these feelings wane or disappear.
Elliot's life provides a powerful illustration of this principle. She experienced profound loss and grief following the tragic murder of her husband, Jim Elliot, in Ecuador. Her subsequent writings reveal a journey of faith and healing, demonstrating that her love for Jim endured beyond the initial emotional intensity and even through intense periods of sorrow. Her love wasn't dependent on his physical presence; it was rooted in a deeper commitment and understanding.
Is love a choice or a feeling?
This is the heart of the matter. Elliot argues that genuine love is a choice rather than simply a feeling. It's a deliberate decision to act in loving ways, even when we don't feel like it. It's a conscious commitment to prioritize the well-being of another person, regardless of our own emotions. This resonates with the biblical concept of agape – a selfless, unconditional love.
This doesn't mean that emotions are irrelevant. Love involves emotions, but it’s not defined by them. We can choose to love someone even when we're angry, disappointed, or hurt. This requires discipline, self-sacrifice, and a commitment to the relationship's greater good.
How can we put Elisabeth Elliot's perspective into practice?
Understanding that love is a choice empowers us to act intentionally in our relationships. It encourages us to:
- Practice forgiveness: Choosing to forgive, even when wronged, is an act of love.
- Show kindness consistently: Small acts of kindness, performed regularly, demonstrate a deeper commitment than sporadic displays of affection fueled by emotion.
- Prioritize the needs of others: Love often requires putting another person's needs before our own.
- Embrace commitment: True love endures through challenges and difficult times.
Does love always feel good?
No, love doesn't always feel good. In fact, sometimes loving someone requires us to do things that are difficult or unpleasant. This is where the choice element comes into play. We may not feel like showing compassion, extending forgiveness, or sacrificing our own desires for the sake of another, but choosing to do so is the essence of true love.
What are the key elements of love according to Elisabeth Elliot?
Based on her life and writings, Elisabeth Elliot's perspective on love emphasizes:
- Commitment: A steadfast dedication to the well-being of another, even amidst difficulties.
- Sacrifice: Willingness to put the needs of others before one's own.
- Action: Love is expressed through actions, not just words or feelings.
- Unconditional: Love that persists regardless of the other person's actions or flaws.
Elisabeth Elliot's quote about love is a powerful reminder that genuine love is not a fleeting emotion but a deliberate choice, a commitment to action, and a testament to the enduring power of the human spirit. It's a perspective that continues to inspire and challenge us to deepen our understanding and practice of love in all aspects of our lives.
